The impossible dream II / Coming Attractions…

So last night I had a dream that the Minnesota Vikings were in the Superbowl.  It wasn’t that exciting, though, because it was one of those dreams where I knew I was dreaming WHILE I was having the dream.  How did I know I was dreaming, you ask?  Because the MINNESOTA VIKINGS WERE IN THE SUPERBOWL!  THE MOTHER-FUCKING ARIZONA CARDINALS ARE IN THE SUPERBOWL, AND THE VIKINGS CAN’T MAKE IT ONE GOD DAMN TIME IN MY LIFE?!?!  ONE TIME!!!  Jesus…

Soon I will be writing a report about my recent trip to Las Vegas.  Pop quiz time: try to guess which one of these things WON’T be a part of my story:

A) Booze

B) Losing disgusting sums of money

C) Prostitutes

D) Baby turtles

I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the answer.  Tune in next week.

In the meantime, watch one of the greatest videos I’ve seen on the internet recently.