So last night I had a dream that the Minnesota Vikings were in the Superbowl. It wasn’t that exciting, though, because it was one of those dreams where I knew I was dreaming WHILE I was having the dream. How did I know I was dreaming, you ask? Because the MINNESOTA VIKINGS WERE IN THE SUPERBOWL! THE MOTHER-FUCKING ARIZONA CARDINALS ARE IN THE SUPERBOWL, AND THE VIKINGS CAN’T MAKE IT ONE GOD DAMN TIME IN MY LIFE?!?! ONE TIME!!! Jesus…
Soon I will be writing a report about my recent trip to Las Vegas. Pop quiz time: try to guess which one of these things WON’T be a part of my story:
A) Booze
B) Losing disgusting sums of money
C) Prostitutes
D) Baby turtles
I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the answer. Tune in next week.
In the meantime, watch one of the greatest videos I’ve seen on the internet recently.